his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
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She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
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