these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize