I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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