He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize