Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
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gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
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I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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