just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
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