wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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