his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
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