I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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