I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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