He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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