very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I don't deserve a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
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