I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
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We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
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Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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