I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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