was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we still banned from the library?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize