Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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