I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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