I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
he thought i was a dude.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize