Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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