Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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