apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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