I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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