Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
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