i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Just puked most of my soul out..
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