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I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
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