Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(574): View more from Indiana

I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?

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(574): I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight? http://tfl.nu/h1kj

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(206): View more from Washington

Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.

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(206): Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once. http://tfl.nu/nlk3

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(203): View more from Connecticut

nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body

(508): View more from Massachusetts

how many servings is brandon's dick?

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(203): nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body (508): how many servings is brandon's dick? http://tfl.nu/n1yr

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(225): View more from Louisiana

at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?

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(225): at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end? http://tfl.nu/7mqc

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(630): View more from Illinois

his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass

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(630): his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass http://tfl.nu/ujep

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.

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(610): we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk. http://tfl.nu/7jhm

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(917): View more from New York City

you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit

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(917): you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit http://tfl.nu/h4ki

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(315): View more from New York

MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!

(315): View more from New York

AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!

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(315): MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!! (315): AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!! http://tfl.nu/witt

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(661): View more from California

There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.

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(661): There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind. http://tfl.nu/kx07

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(248): View more from Michigan

Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.

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(248): Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation. http://tfl.nu/s4gv

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(602): View more from Arizona

I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.

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(602): I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night. http://tfl.nu/7hpm

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(604): View more from British Columbia

I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now

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(604): I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now http://tfl.nu/aqb9

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(330): View more from Ohio

I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve

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(330): I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve http://tfl.nu/wq9l

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(760): View more from California

Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly

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(760): Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly http://tfl.nu/j8y5

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(509): View more from Washington

You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.

(1-509): View more from Washington

Yes talking about pockets is classic me.

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(509): You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away. (1-509): Yes talking about pockets is classic me. http://tfl.nu/k75f

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