i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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