I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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