im six kinds of drunk right now
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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