some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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