Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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