I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
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he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
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Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
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