so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
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I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
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I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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