They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
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I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn victory sex feels great
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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