It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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