Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize