I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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