Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize