i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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