why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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