i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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