I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize