u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize