Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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