the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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