Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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