corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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