Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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