We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize