uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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