three words: i give head
three words: not that well
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize